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<title>Full of Grace by iknowhowmystoryends (gorgeouschaos)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28469748">Full of Grace</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/gorgeouschaos/pseuds/iknowhowmystoryends'>iknowhowmystoryends (gorgeouschaos)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Hallowed Be Thy Name [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst, Catholic Prayers, Catholicism, Gen, Prayer, Short One Shot, bit of a character study, how many other ways can i say this, six sentence ficlets</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 01:00:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>350</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28469748</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/gorgeouschaos/pseuds/iknowhowmystoryends</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Dean says a Hail Mary.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Hallowed Be Thy Name [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1458910</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Full of Grace</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Credit for the ideas of Dean saying the Hail Mary goes to housesoftheholymp3 and biconachilles on Tumblr! I also got the idea for the second of the five sections from them.<br/>Warnings: implied/referenced prostitution, potentially underage, in the second section; canonical events.<br/>Thanks for reading, hope you like it, and I love hearing from y'all.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“My mom’s name was Mary,” Dean tells Pastor Jim, pointing at the framed words on the wall. Dean only knows “Mary” and a few other words, but Pastor Jim helps Dean sound out the words as he reads and Dean manages to stumble through the prayer. </p><p>“Do you think Mom heard me?”</p><p>Pastor Jim hesitates. “That’s not-- you know what, Dean? I think she did.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean manages to wait until the door shuts to throw up. Nothing but bile comes up-- he hasn’t eaten in two days.</p><p>He blinks and he’s outside the truck stop. </p><p>He blinks and he’s outside the hotel room, no Impala in sight.</p><p>Dean blinks and he’s standing in the hotel shower with the water turned up nearly hot enough to burn. He’s trying to scrub something off of his skin that’s never going to go away as his lips move on autopilot: <em> Hail Mary, full of Grace</em>…</p><p> </p><p>Dean folds Sam’s cold, stiff hand into his own.</p><p>God’s just as dead as Dean’s father and brother are; the saints are just human; the only pure thing left is Dean’s mother.</p><p>“Hail Mary,” Dean says, his voice breaking on a sob. “Please, <em> God</em>, Hail Mary.”</p><p>Neither Mary nor God answers. But Hell does.</p><p> </p><p>Dean prays, on the rack. </p><p>It’s not like anything important has changed-- he’s still a damned man praying for salvation that ain’t ever gonna come. It’s just that he prays one word prayers, now, just screams <em> God God God </em> or <em> Dad Dad Dad</em>.</p><p>Dean doesn’t pray the Hail Mary, though. Not for thirty years.</p><p>Not until the first time he picks up the knife.</p><p> </p><p>Dean isn’t one to get on his knees; he’d rather die than kneel, be it Michael or the Devil or God himself asking. But after Sam jumps, after Cas leaves, Dean kneels in the graveyard dirt, presses his forehead to the sun-warmed, blood-splattered metal of the Impala, and prays. </p><p>The sun’s gone down by the time he realizes what he’s saying.</p><p>“Pray for us sinners,” Dean’s whispering, over and over again. “Pray for us sinners.”</p><p><em> Please, Mom, pray for us</em>.</p>
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